This advice is applied consistently to judge one essay after another. By the end of the book if you have not absorbed or heeded the advice but get accepted to your dream school anyway, I would love to read your essay. I love counter-examples! Apr 03, Simon rated it it was amazing. Borrowed this book for my little sister who is applying to college. A surprisingly good read.
Feb 16, M. Suhaimi Ramly rated it really liked it. The general ideas are good, but as of , some of the content are dated. College admission howto's like this work for some time until everyone gets into the game and figures out how to game the rules and then suddenly the admission office is inundated with 50, applications all of whom are straight-A, honor student, club president, athlete-mathlete, extra-curricular creep, who are deeply passionate in some fashionable cause du jour, and who have a sob story about a disabled relative or a poo The general ideas are good, but as of , some of the content are dated.
College admission howto's like this work for some time until everyone gets into the game and figures out how to game the rules and then suddenly the admission office is inundated with 50, applications all of whom are straight-A, honor student, club president, athlete-mathlete, extra-curricular creep, who are deeply passionate in some fashionable cause du jour, and who have a sob story about a disabled relative or a poor person they meet during their once-in-a-lifetime pity visit to a rural village doing "charity work".
Which invariably leads them to end their essays with " Credit to the Crimson editors who tell the applicants do not be boring. Nov 27, Sylvia Vukosavljevic added it. This is one of my favorite guidebooks to writing a successful admissions essay for Harvard or any other school really. What I enjoy about this book is that the authors offer up the profiles of each student creating a kind of guide for future students to understand what stand out factors, GPA, and overall profile helped students profiled in the book to get in.
Jul 28, Charu Upadhyay rated it really liked it. It is inspirinG, I wish this book was read by my younger self. Sep 07, Liz rated it it was ok Shelves: read-for-school. Considering that this was a required read during my senior year in high school why did I rank something like this so low?
PRIVILEGE Apart from three or four of these essays, which were quite unique and interesting to read I remember one about a shower, a monologue in a theater, and a young man who liked magic. These essays were written by students who are wealthy enough to travel extensively in high school.
They were cliche, even if they were written well. Students shouldn't read a book like thi Considering that this was a required read during my senior year in high school why did I rank something like this so low? Students shouldn't read a book like this to get a sense of how to write a college application essay. What they should do is this: 1 Take a healthy risk while writing on the topic at hand. It will bite them in the butt when that same essay gets that student into a top school.
This is a chance to set themselves apart and if you don't have fun writing it, then the people on the other side won't have fun reading it. This is coming from a former student who got into all her schools, including top rated schools on her application essay.
Nov 12, Sara rated it really liked it. This informational book,"50 Successful Harvard Application Essays" pages written by the staff of the Harvard Crimson, is an excellent tool that helps guide seniors struggling with writing the dreaded college essay. Because the topics for these essays are often very vague, many students often have no idea where to begin.
This book pro This informational book,"50 Successful Harvard Application Essays" pages written by the staff of the Harvard Crimson, is an excellent tool that helps guide seniors struggling with writing the dreaded college essay. This book provides its readers a variety of examples to use for inspiration and ideas. Furthermore, each essay is followed by a brief analysis of weaknesses and strengths.
As a senior, I found this book to be particularly helpful in providing insight on what works and what doesn't. It helped me learn how to pick a topic, structure my essay, keep my readers entertained, and avoid common mistakes that many students make. I would recommend this book to anyone applying to college who needs some ideas to get started on their essays. Aug 07, Catalina rated it really liked it.
If you need inspiration to write a creative and persuasive essay or even a cover letter this book is a great motivator. I particularly enjoyed the immediate gratification of the critique given after each entry. It is fascinating to learn what components of the writings were viewed as positives in many cases.
None of them are "wrong", it's simply a case of each of the aforementioned demanding a different focus for their purposes. However, it's confusing for kids to know how to switch gears and give them all what they want to hear and in what way. This book offers them a guideline to steer them onto the right path for college essays, which is a relief in the hurricane of all the conflicting information surrounding them. An applicant to Harvard should, of course, know better, than to read an essay book.
However this wasn't the reason why I bought it an read it - my true wish was to catch a glimpse, albeit a distorted and then focused one, of the applicant pool. We are presented here, not quite with a guidance book, but with a small sociological study, upon which we can reflect about societal acceptance trends and behavior of those, applying for the most known among the Big Six. Read it not for advice given, but m An applicant to Harvard should, of course, know better, than to read an essay book.
Read it not for advice given, but more to know and understand a given set of people. I wish I had read this book before applying to US colleges. Very useful and provoke thinking. I pretend to be an admission office while reading it. That means I read many essays continuously in a day and then tried to remember them the next day, then choose 10 best out of The best thing I like about the book is not its essays but the comments from the Crimson staff which pointed out how good and how bad a PS could be.
After reading this book, I want to write my personal statement again, and I wish I had read this book before applying to US colleges. After reading this book, I want to write my personal statement again, and I will soon. View 2 comments. Jan 26, M Naser rated it really liked it. The book was truly incredible it gives you a really beautiful insight of how it is in Harvard!
I strongly recommend this book. This is a good reference. I am trying to perfect my application essays. I have one but I will be applying to more schools and I want a really strong essay! This is my 2nd ref. Read this one if you need help for college applications. This is a fun read. Sometimes my reaction is, "I had no idea that's all it took to get into Harvard", other times it is , "Wow, now how in the world did he think of THAT?
Feb 08, Maria Dudley rated it really liked it. Really helpful if you have a child who will be applying to college soon even if they aren't interested in Harvard or filling out other sorts of applications. I loved reading these personal essays! Interesting and good writing even if this doesn't apply to you Feb 11, SallyStenger added it. Interesting, but not as much as the one with the law school essays.
Short and easy to read. Their writing is fantastic and the reviews are very informational for students trying to write their college essays. Jun 08, Renuka rated it really liked it. JB Park rated it liked it Jan 25, Valerie rated it it was amazing Jun 13, Munguntsetseg Ganbold rated it liked it Sep 03, Odaznava Oahin rated it it was amazing Jun 24, Jenny Panciocco rated it really liked it Jan 10, Dee rated it it was ok Jul 17, Alison Rosenbloom rated it it was amazing Mar 20, Wayne Deng rated it liked it Jul 23, Trisha rated it liked it May 17, Swapnil Jain rated it really liked it Oct 08, Chess via Email added it Aug 11, However, let t his serve as a valuable lesson: it is im port ant t o ext ensively check all fact s used in your essay.
I t consist ed of boiled pot at oes, carrot s, eggs, bologna and pickles diced int o t iny cubes and m ixed int o a giant enam el pot t oget her wit h canned peas and m ayonnaise. I t was considered a delicacy, and prepared only on special occasions such as birt hday and dinner part ies. But it was also a rit ual, t he only com ponent of t he first course which was never absent from a dinner t able, no m at t er which of our relat ives or friends was t hrowing t he feast.
I ronically, t he salade Olivier was never m y favorit e food, t hough t he at t it ude of m y t ast e buds t o t he dish did evolve t hrough t he years. Only recent ly did I resign m yself t o t he fact t hat all t he ingredient s m ust be consum ed sim ult aneously for m axim um enj oym ent as well as for t he sake of expediency. I t m ay seem odd, t hen, t o be writ ing in such lengt h in praise of a dish one does not part icularly like.
But culinary m em ories are det erm ined not so m uch by whet her we found a food t ast y, but by t he event s, people, and at m ospheres of which t he food serves as a rem inder. Though sim ple in t heory, t he preparat ion of t he salade Olivier was a form idable undert aking which occupied half t he m orning and all but one of t he st ove burners.
As I sat at t he kit chen t able, m y five- year- old fingers covered in several layers of pot at o skin, m y m ot her and I would lead heart- t o- heart discussions, whose t opics I no longer rem em ber, but of which I never t ired. Event ually, m y m ot her int roduced m e t o t he Dicing of t he Pot at oes, and t hen t o t he Dicing of t he Bologna, t he Dicing of t he Pickles, t he Shelling of t he Eggs and t he St irring in of t he Mayonnaise as well.
But t here was one st age of t he process I found especially m esm erizing. I t was t he Dicing of t he Eggs, carried out one hard- boiled egg at a t im e wit h t he help of an egg- cut t er. Not hing was m ore pleasing t o t he eye t han t he sight of t hose seven wire- like blades, arranged like prison bars, slicing t hrough t he sm oot h, soft ellipsoid. Today, we st ill m ake t he salade Olivier on som e form al occasions, and, as before, I som et im es part icipat e. And every t im e I see t he eggslicer or sm ell t he pickles, I am rem inded of our Kiev apart m ent , of t hose m uch- ant icipat ed birt hday part ies, of t he j oy I felt as I helped m y m ot her cook: of all t he t hings which m ade m y childhood a happy one.
The salade Olivier, a delicacy in bot h Ukranian and Russian diet s, serves as t he cent ral organizat ional m ot if for t his descript ion. This t echnique forces t he Plagiarism is severely punished! Only in t he end are t hings revealed, and even t hen t he reader m ay not be fully sat isfied. The caram el- skinned m an on m y left holds his cane as if t he world is wait ing for his ent rance.
On m y right t he t aller vanilla- skinned m an st ands erect as if he m ust carry t he world. Each m an reaches for m y hand and before long, a t ug- of- war ensues bet ween t hem. Each t ries t o pull m e over t he line of agreem ent but m y body st ays in t he m iddle. My t orso st ret ches wider and wider.
My arm s grow in lengt h as each m an pulls and pulls. Washingt on and W. I at t em pt ed t o present t heir views in t he I B Ext ended Essay. While I wrot e t he paper som et hing inside of m e felt t he need t o agree wit h and choose one philosophy over t he ot her. So t his st ruggle developed. I n t he beginning, Washingt on looked as if he had already lost t he t ug- of- war. Aft er exam ining Washingt on, exam ining Du Bois was like j um ping int o a hot bat h Plagiarism is severely punished!
Du Bois represent s everyt hing I grew up adm iring. Du Bois was t he radical who at t ended Harvard Universit y. I had no choice but t o agree wit h Du Bois. These fact s m ade m e feel t hat m aybe African-Am ericans had shoved Washingt on t oo far back int o t he closet. At t his j unct ure, Washingt on began t o give Du Bois com pet it ion in a form erly one- sided war. Econom ic prosperit y m eans power; a race wit h econom ic power cannot be denied social equalit y, right?
I n order t o resolve t he dilem m a present ed by t his t ug- of- war, I looked at t he ingredient s of m y life. Washingt on appealed t o t he part of m e t hat want ed t o forget about social equalit y. That part of m e want ed t o live as it cam e and focus only on self- advancem ent. Du Bois appealed t o t he part of m e t hat felt no m an was a m an wit hout social equalit y. Eit her way, bot h appealed t o m y life as an African-Am erican. Neit her m an won t he t ug- of- war.
Maybe t his t ug- of—war in m y head was not m eant t o be won because t heir philosophies influenced m e equally. Washingt on provided t he pract ical ingredient s for social advancem ent while Du Bois provided t he int ellect ual ingredient s for such advancem ent. African-Am ericans m ust evaluat e bot h philosophies and det erm ine how bot h views can facilit at e t he advancem ent of t he race. I st ill st and bet ween t wo m en but now I em brace t hem equally.
Writ ing an essay about t his part of your developm ent is insight ful int o your person and your views. Adm issions officers are t rying t o get t o a port rait of who you are and what you value, and lit t le is m ore revealing t han a st ruggle for racial ident it y. Freelon chose t o writ e about t wo black leaders t o show what her racial ident it y m eans t o her.
Her essay also shows a keen int erest in how hist ory can be applied t o her life — an int erest t hat would appeal t o adm issions officers t rying t o pick t hought ful individuals. She m oves sm oot hly from her opening t hought s int o t he body of t he essay and devot es equal t im e t o each philosophy.
She also shows clear exam ples of why she originally liked Du Bois and why she changed her m ind about Washingt on. Her essay show im port ant elem ent s Plagiarism is severely punished! The m ain danger in t his essay is oversim plificat ion. She also assum es a fam iliarit y on t he part of t he adm issions officers wit h issues of racial ident it y, which m ay or m ay not be t rue. The t em perat ure knob is t urned as far as it can go, and hot drops of wat er penet rat e m y skin like t iny bullet s.
The rhyt hm of wat er dancing on t he floor creat es a blanket of soot hing sound t hat envelops m e, m uffling t he chaot ic noises of our t hin- walled house. I breat he in a m ist of herbal scent ed sham poo and liquid Dove soap, a welcom e change from t he sem i- arid air of Colorado. I n t he shower I am alone. No younger siblings barging unannounced int o m y room , no friends int errupt ing m e wit h t he shrill ring of t he t elephone, no parent s nagging m e about finishing college essays.
The ceram ic t iles t hat line m y bat hroom wall have t he perfect coefficient of absorpt ion for repeat ed reflect ions of sound waves t o creat e t he wonderful reverberat ion t hat m akes m y shower an acoust ic dream. The t wo by four st all is t ransform ed int o Carnegie Hall as Neha Mahaj an, world- renowned m usician, sings her heart out int o a sham poo bot t le m icrophone.
I lose m yself in t he haunt ing m elism a of an aalaap, t he free singing of im proved m elodies in classical I ndian m usic. I perfect arrangem ent s for a capella singing, pract ice choreography for Excalibur, and im provise songs t hat I will lat er st rum on m y guit ar.
Som et im es I sit in t he shower and cry, m y salt y t ears m ingling wit h t he clear drops upon m y face unt il I can no longer t ell t hem apart. I have cried wit h t he despair of m y friend and m ent or in t he Rape Crisis Team when she lost her sist er in a vicious case of dom est ic abuse, cried wit h t he realizat ion of t he urgency of m y work.
I have cried wit h t he sheer frust rat ion of m y inabilit y t o convince a friend t hat m y religious beliefs and viewpoint s are as valid as hers. Wit hin t hese glass walls I can cry, and m y t ears are washed away by t he st inging hot wat er of t he shower. The wat er t hat falls from m y gleam ing brass showerhead is no ordinary t ap wat er.
I t is infused wit h a m yst erious power able t o act ivat e m y neurons. My English t eachers would be am azed if t hey ever discovered how m any of m y com posit ions originat ed in t he bat hroom. This daily rit ual is a chance for m e t o let m y m ind go free, t o cat ch and reflect over any t hought s t hat drift t hrough m y head before t hey vanish like t he ephem eral flashes of fireflies.
I st and wit h m y eyes closed, wat er running t hrough m y dripping hair, and t ry t o derive t he full m eaning conveyed in chapt er six of m y favorit e book, Zen and t he Art of Mot orcycle Maint enance. Now if only t hey had let m e t ake t hat AP Calculus t est in t he shower… The sparkles of falling wat er m esm erize m e int o reflect ion. Thought s t um bling in som ersault s soft en int o a dewy m ellowness.
Do t hese drops of wat er carry a seed of consciousness wit hin t hem? As I wat ch t he wat er winking wit h t he reflect ed light of t he bat hroom , it appears t o glow in t he fulfillm ent of it s karm a. Then, for a split second, all t hought s cease t o exist and t im e st ands st ill in a m om ent of perfect silence and calm like t he m irror surface of a placid lake.
I know I have a t endency t o deplet e t he house supply of hot wat er, m uch t o t he annoyance of t he rest of m y fam ily. I t is a sm all pocket of t im e away form t he frant ic deadline and count less places t o be and t hings t o do. I t is a chance t o reflect , and enj oy—a bit of welcom e frict ion t o slow down a hect ic day. The wat er flows int o a swirling spiral down t he drain beneat h m y feet. I t cleanses not only m y body, but m y m ind and soul, leaving t he bare essence t hat is m e.
Mahaj an could have focused on t he academ ic subj ect s or ext racurriculars she m ent ions in her essay, such as physics or t he Rape Crisis Team , but inst ead she chooses a daily rit ual com m on t o us all. Though everyone can relat e t o t aking a shower, doubt less few shower in quit e t he sam e way Mahaj an does or find it t o be such an int ellect ually and em ot ionally st irring experience.
A relat ively m inor point is t hat her econom y of language could be im proved, as ot herwise fluid sent ences are occasionally overdone wit h an excess of adj ect ives and adverbs. Nonet heless, Mahaj an conveys her t alent for creat ive writ ing, and t his carries her essay for beyong t he lesser issues m ent ioned earlier. And, of course, her dist inct ive showers t hem e helps t his exhibit ion of t alent st and out.
Adam , a pret t y boy wit h cropped hair, st ands beside m e, relat ing t ales of snowboarding in Sweden while slicing provolone cheese. I t is 3: 00 in t he aft ernoon, t he lunch rush has died down, t he evening rush has not yet st art ed. I relax in t he rhyt hm ic t rance of t he downward m ot ion of t he knife, as I wat ch t he red peppers fall int o precise slices. The door opens. A cust om er. Adam looks t oward m e.
A m an st ands, looking at m e. His eyes, hidden under t angled gray hair, cat ch m ine, and m y eyes drop, down t o his arm s. Spider lines of old t at t oos st and out , words and pict ures and Plagiarism is severely punished! I know I am st aring. I look up. He looks at m e warily.
He ext ends his hand, t hen — suddenly — pulls back. His face changes, and he leans t oward m e, cast ing a fright ened glance at t he cash regist er. I t s com m on gray ext erior rest s on t he count er, t he green num erals displaying t he am ount owed. I t hink of m y first days at t he Five St ar, when I was sure t hat it was alive — a nefarious m achine m anipulat ing t he cost s t o cause m y hum iliat ion.
As t he days proceeded, we slowly gained a t rust for one anot her, and it s once evil dem eanor had changed — t o t hat of an ordinary m achine. I t hink of t he world — cont rolled by m achines, t he cars and com put ers and clocks — would t hey, could t hey, rise up against us? The espresso m achine is behind m e, it could at t ack — t he hot wat er spurt ing fort h, blinding m e as t he cash regist er falls and knocks m e ont o t he floor as I — No, of course not.
Sensibilit y wins again. He eyes m e, unt rust ing of m y words, in need of reassurance. He t akes his coffee wit h bot h hands, and sips it. The cash regist er sit s, silent on t he count er. I m agine reading st acks of essays about m undane t opics, and t hen com ing upon one about red peppers, provolone cheese and a cash regist er — how could it not st and out? Rat her t han describing a life- alt ering experience or an influent ial relat ionship, t he writ er reveals herself and her t alent s indirect ly by bringing us int o a capt ivat ing scene.
Even if all t he essay does is grab our at t ent ion and force us t o rem em ber it s aut hor, t his essay is a success. The dialogue wit h t he em aciat ed m an raises provocat ive quest ions about m odern life. How do we relat e t o t he m achines around us? And how do m achines affect our relat ions wit h people of different classes and backgrounds? The essay does not pret end t o answer t hese quest ions, but in raising t hem it reveals it s aut hor t o possess an im pressive degree of sophist icat ion and, at bot t om , an int erest ing m ind.
For one, t he scene seem s so surreal t hat we are led t o wonder whet her t his is a work of fict ion. Moreover, alt hough t he aut hor proves t hat she is t hought ful and t alent ed and has a vivid im aginat ion, m any quest ions are left unanswered. Does t he aut hor want t o be a writ er? How would her creat ivit y t ranslat e int o a cont ribut ion t o t he com m unit y?
We would need t o rely on t he rest of her applicat ion t o fill in t hose gaps. A M e m or a ble D a y A Mem orable Day - - by Ayana Elizabet h Johnson Walking t hrough m eadow and forest and m ud, helping and being helped across st ream s, looking at lakes, st ars and t rees, sm elling pines and horses, and generally t raveling t hrough a half- seen world, all happened before four A.
The t en of us st opped near a wat erfall t o absorb t he beaut y of t he rising sun. The sky was on fire before t he em bers died out and only t he blues and yellows rem ained. I saw t he beam s of t he sun slide down from t he sky and int o a m eadow, and felt m y happiness slide down m y cheeks. To t he sky I sang m y t hanks. As our j ourney t o t he Grand Pyram id cont inued, I m et new flowers. At t he base of it s peak, I looked up wit h excit em ent , and t hen out for st abilit y.
I nt im idat ed and yet det erm ined, I st art ed t o crawl up t he m ount ain. At t he t op, t he four of us who had cont inued from t he base were greet ed by t he beaut y of needle peaks and m ount ain ranges and m iles of a clear view in every direct ion, wit hout t he bit t erly cold winds and t he fear of height s I had expect ed would be t here t oo.
There was sim ply nat ure and sunshine and friendship, and t he elat ion t hey bring. Balloons were blown up and at t ached t o m e. On t he way down, inst ead of t ears of j oy t hat had accom panied t he sunrise, t here were songs of j oy, and I t hought. I realized t hat t he rewards and t hrills and m em ories are in t he j ourney and not in reaching t he dest inat ion.
I had believed t his before and even said it out loud, but t his was different. I looked at everyt hing along t he way. I st opped and rest ed and at t em pt ed t o et ch each different view int o m y m em ory. I had only been singing for m yself and for t he m ount ains, but everyone had heard m e, and, when I reached t he bot t om , I was greet ed wit h congrat ulat ions and laught er — aft er all, I did have balloons t ied t o m e.
And t he j ourney cont inued. The wat erfall we had only really heard before day- break was now visible, and I was convinced t o j um p in and m ake it t angible t oo. I plunged m y head under it s t orrent ial flow, only t o receive a headache from it s coldness as a reward for m y boldness. I rem oved m y- t hen- num bered- self from t he wat er and was lacing up m y boot s when it began t o hail.
I had been wishing t hat snow would fall on t his August day, but hail was close enough. The few of us who had braved t he wat erfall t hen ran t o cat ch t he group in t he forest before t he im m inent t hunderst orm arrived. The st ream s we had helped each ot her cross in t he dark were no m ore t han rivulet s t hrough a field in t he light. The m yst erious woods were t urned serene by t he rays of t he sun, and I t hought of t he great chasm t hat oft en exist s bet ween appearance and realit y.
The m ud puddles t hat had been obst acles were now only anot her det ail of t he landscape, and I t hought about t hings t hat are a challenge t o m e which ot hers find sim ple. The m eadow where I had t ripped while t rying t o st ar- gaze and walk, becam e a place t o cloud — gaze and wonder at t he st orm , and I t hought of t he m any ways different people can appreciat e t he sam e t hing.
The hum bling t hunder approached. I t growled. Suddenly, t he fright eningly beaut iful com panion of t he t hunder st ruck a hill not so far ahead of us. A friend, t he only ot her person who had seen it , and I ran scream ing and laughing int o t he t rees, but knew we would be all right because we were t oget her. A t rek by m oonlight , a sky on fire, leaking eyes, 13,feet up, balloons, geodes, songs, icy wat erfalls, hail and light ning were m y sevent eent h birt hday.
The aut hor uses a lot of act ive descript ion, which t he reader can easily relat e t o and alm ost experience a part of her j ourney. The com parison bet ween daylight and m oonlight also works well because it allows t he writ er a Plagiarism is severely punished! The reader m ay be slight ly disorient ed by t he lack of cont ext for t he st ory, as we are not t old where t he aut hor is or why she is clim bing a m ount ain.
However, t hrough t he carefully cont rolled descript ion t he aut hor reveals her reflect ive nat ure and personal realizat ion as she ascends and descends t he m ount ain, hence, showing t he parallel physical and em ot ional progression. Her concluding sent ence, t hough not part icularly poignant , serves as a st rong sum m ary of a well- writ t en piece. A night Unforgot t en By Frederick Ant wi An hour before t he com m encem ent of t he personalit y cont est , I deposit ed m y bag carefully in a corner of t he changing room.
From m y vant age point , I could see t he m uscular seniors com paring t heir lovely t hree- piece suit s and m using about which one of t hem would win t he t it le. A bony, st ut t ering j unior wit h no suit and no new shoes, I swallowed hard and resolved t o give t he pageant m y best shot. Wishing hopelessly t hat m y m ot her was am ong t he spect at ors and not working in som e hospit al in a foreign count ry, I st epped out ont o t he polished wooden st age.
I m m ediat ely, one t housand t wo hundred curious eyes bore int o m e. My cheeks t wit ched violent ly, m y t hroat const rict ed and m y knees t urned t o j elly. I fought for cont rol. Bending m y arm s slight ly at t he elbows, I st rut t ed across t he st age in t he usual fashion of an Asant e m onarch and m ercifully m ade it back t o t he changing room wit hout m ishap.
The crowd erupt ed int o a frenzied cheer. I t was singular em ot ion t hat no words can describe. I t began as an aching, beaut ifully t enderness in t he pit of m y st om ach, gradually bubbling int o m y chest , filling m e wit h warm t h and radiance, m elt ing away all t he t ension. Slowly, it effervesced int o m y m out h, ont o m y t ongue and int o words. As I spoke t o t he crowd of m y past im es and passions, words of such silky t ext ure poured out from m y soul wit h unparalleled candor and cadence.
The voice t hat issued from m y lips was at once richer, deeper, st ronger t han I had ever produced. I t was as t hough an inner self, a core essence, had broken free and t aken cont rol. Severed from realit y, I float ed t hrough t he rem ainder of t hat rem arkable evening. One hour lat er, t he barit one of t he present er rang out int o t he cool night air.
GI S Personalit y , select ed on t he basis of confidence, charism a, cult ural reflect ion, Plagiarism is severely punished! My heart pounded furiously. My breat hing reduced t o shallow gasps. For a few sacred m om ent s, t im e st opped. My ears scream ed, and m y lower j aw, defying t he grip of m y facial m uscles, dropped like a draw- bridge.
Then I rushed forward, bear- hugged t he present er and em braced everyone else I could lay m y hands on! Am idst t he t um ult , t he Manager of KLM Airlines m ount ed t he st age, present ing m e wit h a m et er- long Accra-Am st erdam - London ret urn t icket. As I st ood brandishing m y sky- blue cardboard t icket , posing sham elessly for t he cam eras and grinning sheepishly at t he t hrong, a pang of regret shot t hrough m e. I f only m y m ot her could have been in t hat crowd t o wit ness and indeed be a part of t his m ost poignant of all m em ories.
Ant wi concent rat es on a fixed event in t im e and uses it t o show t he spect rum of his personalit y- shy, confident , excit ed, lonely- in an am using and ent ert aining way. The essay is also upbeat and fun t o read. Also, Ant wi does not explain t he what , where, or why of t he cont est , which are all im port ant t o know.
Overall, however, his personalit y shines t hrough as st ellar. Banana By Nat han W. Hill Plagiarism is severely punished! I was hungry and t he sun im paled m e on it s searing ray. I wore a wool coat , black wit h red cot t on lining. I t had served m e well in t he m ist y foot hills of t he Him alayas, where His Holiness, t he Dalai Lam a, gave his blessing.
The coat had recent ly ret urned from a long absence. I wore it despit e t he heat. The hum id weat her and t he final wilt ing blossom s of lat e Sept em ber conspired t o fill m y head wit h snot. The m ight y ham m er, Mj ollnir, pounded his lam ent bet ween m y ears. Then, I rem em bered Clint , m y j unior year English t eacher, and walked back t o t he Upper School. Clint always kept a few overripe bananas in t he fruit bowl wit h t he past due vocab t est s. Laura, who shared t he office, com plained of t he fet id sm ell of rot t en fruit and t hat Clint m ade grunt ing noises as he worked hunched in his bow t ie, over a m ound of disheveled papers.
I nside, a sm all elect ric fan sat on t op of t he com put er, it m ade an obnoxious noise bet ween t he sound of buzzing bees and chom ping t eet h. A t iny st rip of paper dart ed before t he spinning blades. Wit h a m ixt ure of pit y and reproach, he raised his arm t o point at t he wooden bowl on t op of t he gray file cabinet.
I lift ed t hree vocab t est s away. I grabbed it , soft and brown. I t s sweet arom a dist ract ed m e from t he t hrobbing of m y head. I held t he banana in m y right hand, and m oved m y left hand t o it s st em , ready t o divest m y prey.
A t hin st icky liquid st art ed seeping t hrough m y hand. Not expect ing a banana t o leak I dropped it , and heard a low t hud, followed by splat t ering. The banana burst open; it s m ushy yellow gut s flew. A dripping peel rem ained of m y search for happiness.
While Hill has alluded t o t he fact t hat he was in t he Him alayas and t hat he was given a blessing by t he Dalai Lam a, he does not dwell on t hose event s, however significant or unique. Rat her, he chooses t o concent rat e on sim ple t opics: hunger and a covet ed banana.
The end of t he essay part icularly im pact s t he reader wit h vivid im agery. Few who read t his essay will forget t he im age of an overripe banana exploding. Hill has conveyed t he exact m agnit ude of his hunger and desire for t hat banana wit h t his phrase. A few areas could be st rengt hened, however. Hill is som ewhat m eandering in his opening, t ouching on t opics like t he Dalai Lam a and t he Him alayas, which t hough int erest ing are not significant t o t he m ain t hrust of t he narrat ive.
He m ight have done bet t er t o have sim ply expanded upon t he lat t er paragraphs of his essay, focusing m ore on t he banana and his hunger and om it t ing t his dialogue and t he descript ion of Clint. Despit e t hese sm all com plicat ions, Hill has done t he t rick and produced an essay t hat dem ands at t ent ion and respect.
I was on m y way t o Aspen, Colorado. I had heard wonderful st ories about t he Aspen Music School from friends who had at t ended in previous years, and I was cert ain t hat t his sum m er would be an unbelievable learning experience. I was especially excit ed t o be st udying wit h Mr. Herbert St essin, an est eem ed professor from t he Juilliard School. Aft er j ust a few lessons wit h Mr.
St essin, I knew t hat I would not be disappoint ed. St essin is so incredibly sharp t hat no det ail get s but him. He not ices every t urn of each m usical phrase, cat ches wrong not es in com plex chords, and int erj ect s his wry sense of hum or int o every lesson.
The m ast er class went quit e well considering t hat it was m y first perform ance of t he sonat a. A few days lat er, as I walked across t he bridge over t he creek which winds t hrough t he m usic school cam pus, I saw Mr. On July 15 I had m y last lesson wit h Mr. St essin, and walked wit h him t o t he dinning hall.
St essin passed out! However, we soon realize t hat t he sit uat ion was m ore serious, as an am bulance was called t o t ake her t o t he nearby hospit al. Not hing could have prepared m e for t he news t hat t wo dist raught friends brought lat e t hat night t o m y room m at e and m e. St essin had never regain consciousness and had died of a rupt ured aneurysm. That night , m y room m at e and I could not sleep; we t alked about our m em ories of Mrs.
St essin for hours on end. I n t he m orning, Dean Last er called us t oget her t o officially announce t he sad news. Num b wit h disbelief t hat t his vibrant and dedicat ed wom an was gone, we wondered how Mr. St essin could possibly cope wit h t his t errible t ragedy. Surely he would be heading back t o New York as soon as arrangem ent s could be m ade.
Only days aft er, Mr. St essin was back in his st udio, t eaching! I nit ially shocked by Mr. He and his wife had been t eaching at Aspen for m any years and had built a st rong sense of com m unit y wit h t he facult y and st udent s. Furt herm ore, I realized t hat he found com fort t hrough his love of m usic and his com m it m ent t o his st udent s.
Leaving Aspen would have m eant leaving behind his fondest m em ories of Nancy. Aft er st udying a Mozart piano concert o wit h Mr. St essin all sum m er, I was fort unat e t o have t he opport unit y t o dedicat e m y perform ance t o t he m em ory of Mrs. St essin. At t he end of t he concert , m y last evening in Aspen, I was greet ed by friends and facult y m em bers backst age. When I saw Mr. St essin approaching m e, he was beam ing. Last e sum m er did indeed t urn out t o be an unbelievable learning experience.
Alt hough Mr. St essin t aught m e a great deal about m usic and t he piano, in t he end his great est lesson about life. He has a good ear for coupling dialogue and narrat ion, and proj ect s him self wit h at t ract ive m odest y. Miller offers t he reader a chance t o appreciat e an especially wide range of qualit ies: em pat hy, virt uously, wisdom , and generosit y, alt hough he m isses a good opport unit y t o describe how he feels about t he m usic he perform s, and his conclusion is som ewhat t rit e.
Sohn As I st ood at op t he old railroad- bridge som e six st ories above t he wat er, m y m ind was racing down convolut ed pat hs of t hought : Logic and reason would oblige m e t o get off t his rust ing t rest le, run t o m y car, fast en m y seat belt , and drive hom e carefully while obeying t he speed lim it and st opping for any anim als which m ight wander int o m y pat h.
This banal and ut t erly safe scenario did not sit well wit h m e. I felt t he need t o do som et hing reckless and im pet uous. Will m y next conversat ion be wit h Elvis or Jim m y Hoffa? I do not have a fascinat ion wit h deat h, and I do not display suicidal t endencies, yet I loved t hrowing m yself off t hat bridge, despit e t he obj ect ions of t he logical part of m y brain.
St anding up t here, I recalled from physics t hat I should be pulled t oward t he eart h wit h an accelerat ion of 9. G- forces m eant not hing t o m e once I st epped off t he edge of t he bridge, t hough. I felt like I was in t he air for an et ernit y alt hough I Plagiarism is severely punished! This leap was at once t he m ost fright ening and m ost exhilarat ing experience of m y life.
That synergy of fear and excit em ent brought about a unique kind of euphoria. Jum ping off and feeling t he ground fall out from underneat h m e was incredible. I have rock- clim bed and rappelled ext ensively, but t hose experiences cannot com pare, eit her in fear or in t hrill, t o j um ping off a bridge. Once I conquered m y init ial fear and j um ped off, I did it again and again, always searching for t hat t ingling sensat ion which ran t hrough m y lim bs t he first t im e I did it , but never quit e recapt uring t he ast onishing bliss of t hat first j um p.
I have j um ped m any t im es since t hat first t im e, and all of m y j um ps have been fun, but none can quit e m at ch t hat first leap. The t hrill of t hat first j um p, t hat elusive rapt ure, was one of t he great est feelings of m y life. I was m aking am ends for every t im e I did t he logical t hing inst ead of t he fun t hing, every t im e I opt ed for t he least dangerous rout e t hroughout m y life.
I was rising up and doing som et hing blissfully bad, som et hing im pet uous. I was act ing wit hout t hinking of t he ram ificat ions, and it was liberat ing. My whole life, it seem ed, had been lived wit hin t he const rict ive boundaries of logical t hought. I overst epped t hose boundaries when I j um ped. I freed m yself from t he bonds of logic and reason, if for only a few seconds, and t hat was im port ant.
I n order for t his narrat ive form t o be successful, t he writ er m ust use descript ive language t o set t he scene and t ransport t he reader t o t he locat ion and even int o t he t hought process of t he narrat or. Sohn does t his rem arkably well. The reader can envision t he railroad t rest le upon which he st ands and even feel t he weight lessness of his free- fall t hanks t o clear, descript ive language. Sohn uses a m at ure vocabulary and incorporat es an int ernal dialogue t o aid t he flow of his essay successfully.
The inevit able goal of such a form at is for t he writ er t o convey som et hing about his or her personalit y or individual qualit ies t o t he reader. I n t his case, Sohn want ed t he reader t o know about his freewheeling side; his abilit y t o t ake risks, defy logic, and experience danger. The conclusion is also a part icular st rengt h of t his essay.
Sohn t akes t he isolat ed event he has described so well and applies it t o a broader schem e, showing t he reader j ust how t his event was t ruly significant t o his life Plagiarism is severely punished! On ot her days I had been m ore successful in m y research on t he connect ion bet ween Swit zerland and Nazi gold. Josh, t he ot her int ern, had been luckier. He had found a new piece of inform at ion dealing wit h Herm an Goering.
At any rat e, he flagged it for copying and kept on searching his box. I finished m y box of files, checked m y wat ch again, and decided t hat I could search t hrough one m ore box before I had t o t ake t he hour- long bus ride back. I n t his folder t here was one docum ent t hat caught m y eye. Many of t he docum ent s I had gone t hrough had recount ed bat t les and bom bings as well as t he areas affect ed by t hese.
What was different about t his docum ent was t hat t he cit ies list ed as being bom bed were Swiss cit ies. Fight ers at m achine0gunned m ilit ary post near Lohn nort h of Scahffhausen. At St ein on Rhine bom bed. I was shocked. My m ot her is from Rafz, and m ost of her fam ily st ill lives t here. Even m ore dist urbing was t he dat e of t he m essage.
My m ot her would have been only four years old. The t own where m y Mom grew up was bom bed. She was This is so weird! This m ade m e even m ore excit ed because I had uncovered a piece of m y hist ory. As soon as I got in, I picked up t he phone and called hom e. How was work? Did you find anyt hing for Alfonse? List en. What do you rem em ber about February 22, ? I t was only for a few seconds, but I t hought t hat I had st um ped her.
But in a few seconds she spoke. The j ovial m anner of before had been replaced by one solem nit y. She had rem em bered. Droller describes his findings of a sm all, yet significant , piece of hist ory concerning his m ot her. Through his essay, Droller describes how he accident ally cam e across a part of his hist ory. What m ost st ands out is t he shock and surprise t hat he feels wit h his newfound inform at ion.
This leaves t he reader want ing t o learn m ore about t he det ails of t he bom bing and how it affect ed his fam ily. Despit e t he defining m om ent found at t he very end of t he essay, t he opening has lit t le direct ion. A reader would probably be m ore int erest ed in t he det ails surrounding t he bom bing, shedding m ore light on t he relat ionship bet ween m ot her and son. We are not shown how t his discovery affect ed t heir relat ionship or if Droller now t hinks different ly about his m ot her based on what Plagiarism is severely punished!
My hat and cape were t aken from m e, revealing t he Vict orian part y dress, which had been designed and painst akingly t ailored j ust for m e. The m usic lift ed m e, and chills surged t hrough m y body. I was ent hralled, ecst at ic wit h t he power of t he orchest ra.
At nine years old, t his was m y long- await ed debut. Any vest ige of uncert aint y about m y perform ance had dissipat ed. I was t ransform ed from a shy young girl int o a confident perform er. Over t he years, as m y t echnique im proved and I spent increasing am ount s of t im e each week pract icing and perform ing, I learned t o value t he discipline required of a professional. Wit hout so m any hours dedicat ed t o pract ice, I would never have been able t o execut e powerful leaps across t he st age in perform ance.
I n class, or on st age, t he m usic would pulse t hrough every fiber of m y being, m y body resonat ing t o every not e of t he score. I discovered t hat discipline and dedicat ion gave m e t he confidence necessary for m e t o refine m y t echnique and st yle, and t o fulfill m y pot ent ial and dream — t o dance like anot her inst rum ent in t he orchest ra. There, I discovered t hat fulfillm ent can com e not only from soaring across t he st age, but by com m unicat ing what I have learned t o ot hers.
I em ulat ed t he good t echniques of m y best t eachers, so t hat m y st udent s could find pleasure in dance. For m y m ore advanced st udent s, I offered well- deserved praise and helped t hem t o refine t heir skills. For st udent s wit h less experience, I t ried t o fost er self- confidence and creat e an environm ent in which t hey could learn, ask quest ions and m ake m ist akes wit hout feeling asham ed.
The discipline I learned during m y five years wit h t he New York Cit y Ballet helped m e underst and t hat wit h freedom com es responsibilit y. When I perform ed at Lincoln Cent er, I danced across t he st age, free, because of t he hours of preparat ion and t hought ful considerat ion I put int o planning classes and rehearsals, inspiring st udent s t o be t heir best.
I now have a great er appreciat ion for t he value of m y Plagiarism is severely punished! I will cont inue t o soar, free. The aut hor gracefully highlight s t he personal im port ance of perform ing and t eaching ballet , using her progression in t he art t o reflect her personal and physical growt h. Beginning wit h a childhood m em ory about her first ballet perform ance, t he aut hor begins t o paint a pict ure for t he reader of j ust how dance has influenced her life. From t here, t he reader get s a sense of t he increasing significance of t his act ivit y, t o t he point where he or she learns t hat t his love for ballet has inspired t he aut hor t o inst ruct ot hers in her art form.
I n her final paragraph, t he essayist closes wit h general conclusions about t he lessons she learned t hrough dance. I nst ead of spelling out t he reasoning behind her love of ballet , t he aut hor encourages t he reader t o cont inue reading. Not unt il t he end of t he fourt h sent ence does he or she know what exact ly has been causing t he chills and excit em ent t hat t he aut hor illust rat es so well in t he opening sent ences.
Wit h a set t ing firm ly est ablished, t he aut hor is t hen free t o proceed wit h her narrat ive. Moreover, in t he t hird paragraph, t he aut hor int roduces an int erest ing t wist t o t he essay, as she chronicles her experiences on t he ot her side of dance, as a ballet t eacher at a sum m er cam p.
This com plicat ion works well at illum inat ing t he way in which t he aut hor learns t o see t hat ballet can offer m ore fulfillm ent t han j ust t hat from t he t hrill of perform ance. The connect ion bet ween t he second and t hird paragraphs is especially abrupt. This spot is an ideal j unct ure t o suggest t he m any ways in which dance — aside from it s direct perform ance and pract ice — has influenced her life.
Especially in essays about significant personal experiences or achievem ent s, it is ext rem ely im port ant t o m ake effect ive use of t ransit ional phrases and words t o connect t he individual point s wit h t he overall t hem e. The challenge is t o ident ify and highlight conclusions unique t o t he sit uat ion. Glynn Awareness. An awareness t hat all eyes from one hundred yards of green grass are focused on a cert ain point in space is what drives t hrough m y t hought s as I st and poised.
These eyes disregard t he peripheral chat t er of spect at ors, t he cold wind whist ling in t he night air around t hem , and t he harshness of t he whit e light s over t he field. They focus only on t his one spot before m y hands and, t o begin t heir show, t hey wait for a sim ple m ot ion, a m ere flick of t he wrist. As a t ingling sensat ion arises in m y fingert ips, I lift m y hands in preparat ion.
One hundred pairs of eyes breat he in unison across t he hundred yards, and m y hands descend in a pract iced pat t ern t oward t hat one point in space. I t is t hat point where t he hundred pairs of eyes release t heir breat h int o t heir various inst rum ent s, where t he m usic is creat ed, and where t he show begins.
This experience is one t hat I get t o relive every Friday night while conduct ing t he Plym out h High School m arching band in it s weekly half- t im e perform ance for t he foot ball fans. While I have perform ed as one of t he pairs of eyes, as conduct or and Senior Drum m aj or I feel a great er part of t he show t han I ever did before. I feel every not e and every phrase of m usic from every inst rum ent , and I pull even m ore m usic from t hose inst rum ent s. Their int ensit y is sparked from m y int ensit y, and m ine builds on t heirs.
The int ensit y is not only from t he m usic; it com es from t he eyes. This is t he great est feeling in t he world. As m y m ot ions becom e larger and larger and m y left hand pushes upward, I dem and volum e from t he band while it crescendos t oward it s final not es. Building volum e and drive, t his m usic sends a t ingling sensat ion from m y fingert ips t hrough m y wrist s and pulsing t hrough m y body.
My shoulders ache but keep driving t he beat , and m y em ot ions are keyed up. As t he brass builds and t he band snaps t o at t ent ion in t he last pict ure of t he show, t he percussion line pushes t he m usic wit h a driving hit. Musicians and conduct or alike clim ax wit h t he m usic unt il reaching t hat sam e inst ant in t im e. Wit h a rigorous closing of m y fist s, t he m usic st ops, but t he eyes hold t heir focus, inst rum ent s poised, unt il a sm ile st ret ches across m y face and m y feat ures relax, t ingling wit h pent up em ot ion.
But as in t his case, t he essay m ay also offer an opport unit y for an applicant t o furt her describe a unique or unconvent ional int erest. Through her descript ion of leading one hundred m usicians in t he com plexit ies of a half- t im e show, t he reader gains unique insight int o being at t he helm of a m arching band — a posit ion from which few people have observed t he perspect ive.
The aut hor begins her essays wit h rich descript ion —she is t he point of focus for one hundred set s of eyes. By personifying t he eyes, t he aut hor paint s a m arvelous pict ure of t he scene. The reader can alm ost sense t he posit ion from which she m ust be st anding and t he enorm it y of t he group at her feet. But he or she is left t o wonder what sort of awkward sit uat ion m ay be causing t his unique scenario. Just as t he aut hor creat es an int ense sensat ion of t ension in t he essay, t he reader t oo holds his or her breat h in advance of t he announcem ent t hat Glynn is t he leader of a m arching band.
As she cont inues, t he aut hor cont rast s her experiences as conduct or wit h t hose of being a perform er, shedding light on t he exhilarat ion of holding t he gaze of t he hundred m usicians who look t o her for rhyt hm and t em po. And wit h descript ive language in t he t hird paragraph, t he aut hor encourages t he reader t o push onward, t oward t he finale of bot h t he m usic and t he essay.
The passage ends wit h an im pressive sense of relief bot h for t he band m em bers and t he reader. St uart When I was lit t le m y fat her used t o play a gam e wit h m e driving hom e. I t s m ain subst ance was som et hing like t his: he would say, oh no, I seem t o be lost ; how shall we get hom e? And t hen he would ask, which way?
Gleefully, I would crane m y neck above t he seat ; according t o t he gam e, his befuddlem ent was hopeless, and I alone as navigat or could bring us hom e. No doubt I seem ed cont rary as I direct ed him furt her and furt her down back st reet s, but m y secret incent ive was explorat ion.
The Plagiarism is severely punished! My heart would beat below m y t hroat as I gave t he direct ion t o t urn, st ret ching m y neck from m y place in t he backseat , eager and afraid: suppose I did really get us lost? The secret desire t o discover always won out over t he fear, but I can st ill recall t he flut t er of m y heart on t he inside of m y ribs as I navigat ed t he roundabout connect ions which was as m yst erious as t he Nort hwest Passage, lone link bet ween t he cul- de- sacs.
Explorat ion was a quest I t ook t o heart ; alone, I would set out on expedit ions int o our back yard, or down t he st reet , creat ing a m ent al m ap concent ric t o our doorst ep. The ot her night it fell t o m y brot her and m e t o ret urn a m ovie.
Aft er we left it on t he count er, t hough, our sense of advent ure got t he bet t er of us. Oh dear, I said, I seem ed t o be lost. Where shall I go? We wound int o t he pine forest in t he dead of night ; m oonlight feel eerie across our laps, st iat ed by t ree t runks. I crest ed a hill slowly: Mont erey spread in a light ed grid below us, down t o t he darkening sea. Above, t he Milky Way sprang apart and arched like a dance.
The st reet s spread ort hogonal before us; t he pure realm of possibilit y opened from t hem. However, rat her t han focusing on a signle life- changing experience, St ephanie shows her approach t oward personal discovery by relat ing t he sot ry of riding in a car and changing t he st andard direct ions as a m eans of st um bling upon unexplored worlds.
The essay is well cont rolled — at no point does she st ray t owward overst at ing t he significance of t hese individual event s, but deft ly uses t hem as a t ool t o illust rat e her advent ure- seeking at t it ude t oward life and her unwillingness t o be sat isfied wit h t he rout ine. St ephanie furt her highlight ed t he im port ance of discovery when she subm it t ed t he essay t o t he adm issions office on U. Geological Survey m aps — a t hought ful t ouch.
The essay is well- paced and calm , wit h a solid developm ent from beginning t o end. I t is clear t hat every word in t he essay was carefully chosen t o accurat ely and succint ly describe her subj ect. Not only does her essay successfully paint a pict ure of her as an curious lit t le child, it shows t hat t he sam e inquisit iveness she exhibit ed t hen she st ill possesses, now coupled wit h m ore responsibilit y, as she drives her brot her and encourages his inquisit iveness.
The biggest risk in t his essay is t hat it does not adequat ely showcase her accom plishm ent s, norm ally a st andard part of a college essay. While it worked for her, t his has m uch t o do wit h t he ext raordinary level of care she t ook in craft ing t he essay; her diligence shows, and t he essay is an insight ful, well- writ t en, and well- paced piece of work.
Colbert I f a six- foot- t all m an slinging a sem i- aut om at ic rifle had approached m e in Greenfield, I probably would have scream ed for help. However, being in a foreign land, unable even t o speak t he nat ive t ongue, m y opt ions of recourse were significant ly lim it ed. The loom ing creat ure, dressed m ost ly in black, wit h short , dark hair, proceeded t o grasp m y right hand.
This is I srael, not New England. I yearned for a new environm ent where I could m eet st udent s unlike t he ones I knew, where I could explore a foreign cult ure, and where I could learn m ore about m y religion. I suddenly wondered if I had m ade t he right decision. As I looked up from writ ing in m y j ournal, a group of m ist y clouds converged t o form an opaque m ass.
But t he inexorable sun dem onst rat ed her t enacit y. One by one, golden arrows pierced t he celest ial canopy t o illum inat e t he lush, green valley bet ween Yad Vashem and t he hills of west ern Jerusalem. I could feel holiness in t hose rays of golden light t hat radiat ed from t he sun like spokes of a heavenly wheel. That m om ent was one of t he m ost spirit ual of m y life. The nat ural grandeur of t he sight seem ed t o bring t oget her t he m ost m eaningful experiences of m y five weeks in I srael: wat ching t he sunrise over t he Red Sea, wading chest- deep t hrough a st ream in t he Golan Height s, looking up at t he m yriad st ars in t he desert sky, exploring a cave in Negev, and clim bing t he lim est one precipice of Masada.
These nat ural t em ples far surpassed any lim est one sanct uary built by m an. Shift ing m y gaze downwards, I not iced Ofir st anding beside m e wit h his eyes fixed on t he sacred valley. At age t went y- five, his head was already balding, but t he expression on his face, wit h his eyes st ret ched wide and his j aws part ed, rem inded m e of a child st art ing wit h delight at a fish in an aquarium. For over a m inut e neit her of us spoke.
That poignant silence said m ore t han a t housand words could ever express. Being an em pirical person, I need confirm at ion, t o prove t o m yself t hat I underst ood. As he nodded in affirm at ion, a beam of light t ranscended his pupils t o produce a t elling spark of corroborat ion.
Bean backpack, and Ofir carried an Uzi, but t hat aft ernoon as t he sun warm ed our heart s, we were bot h children. His declarat ion of his decision t o leave t he at m osphere of his boarding school t o t ravel abroad est ablishes him as a st udent willing t o broaden his horizons and vent ure t o t he unknown.
The init ial com parison of I srael t o his hom et own is t hought fully phrased and expresses his honest feelings. The aut hor is ext rem ely concise in t his essay, describing everyt hing t hat is necessary and leaving out unnecessary det ails. His personal voice is evident. The dialogue in t his essay is also succinct , but com plet e. The aut hor int egrat es ot her Plagiarism is severely punished! Bean backpack and Uzi, leaving t he reader wit h a vision of what t he writ er experienced.
Wing You will not t hink, m y m ind firm ly inform ed m e; you are m uch t oo busy being nervous t o t hink. I sat in t he m ot her of all wait ing room s. My pen t raveled frant ically across t he pages of m y black book, recording every det ail of t he room in fragm ent s t hat passed for poet ry. I t ried t o writ e som et hing deeply insight ful about t he procedure I was about t o undergo but failed t o produce even an opening sent ence. These were t he final m inut es before m y hand would be separat ed from m y pen for t en weeks.
Even if I could not t hink, I needed t o writ e. My eyes becam e m y pen and I wrot e: Wait ing Room The nam e dict at es t he at m osphere The walls, papered in print ed beige, Are dot t ed wit h past el pict ure. Two square colum ns int errupt t he room , At t ended by brown plast ic t rash bins. An undecided carpet of green, black, gray, red, blue Mirrors t he undecided feelings of t he occupant s.
And none of t hese m ask t he inevit able t ension of t he space. My fat e was t o have wrist surgery. Three years before, I had been t old t hat t he fract ure in m y wrist would heal. Earlier t his year, I was again sit t ing in front of X- rays and MRI result s list ening t o t he doct or say t hat t he old fract ure had been an indicat ion t hat t he ligam ent s and t endons were t orn. I could have declined t o have surgery and never played com pet it ive squash again.
I t was never an opt ion. My com pet it ive personalit y finds a safe place t o release it self on a playing field. My st rongest m ot ivat ion is t he prospect of doing what no one expect s I can do. However, t he hardest com pet it ion I face is t hat of m y own expect at ions.
Squash allows m e t o put t he perfect ionist in m e t o good use. The beaut y of squash, and sport s in general, is t hat I never reach an ant i- clim ax because t here is always a higher level t o reach for. Squash requires a healt hy wrist. Surgery would m ake m y wrist healt hy.
How soon can it be done? How long unt il I can play squash again? Can I wat ch? My parent s j okingly t old t heir friends about m y desire t o observe t he surgery, and t he doct or was adam ant ly opposed t o t he idea. But I had not been j oking. I t was m y wrist t hey were going t o be working on. Anyhow, I had never seen an operat ion and was fascinat ed by t he idea of som eone being able t o sew a t endon back t oget her. I had t his im age of a doct or pulling out t he needle and t hread and set t ing t o work, whist ling.
St ill, I want ed t o wat ch. I felt it would give m e a degree of cont rol over t his inj ury t hat had com e t o dom inat e m y life wit hout perm ission. Unfort unat ely, t he final decision was not m ine t o m ake and t he surgery was t o go unrecorded by m y eyes, lost in t he m em ories of doct ors who perform t hese operat ions daily.
I would recommend this book to anyone applying to college who needs some ideas to get started on their essays. Aug 07, Catalina rated it really liked it. If you need inspiration to write a creative and persuasive essay or even a cover letter this book is a great motivator. I particularly enjoyed the immediate gratification of the critique given after each entry. It is fascinating to learn what components of the writings were viewed as positives in many cases.
None of them are "wrong", it's simply a case of each of the aforementioned demanding a different focus for their purposes. However, it's confusing for kids to know how to switch gears and give them all what they want to hear and in what way. This book offers them a guideline to steer them onto the right path for college essays, which is a relief in the hurricane of all the conflicting information surrounding them.
An applicant to Harvard should, of course, know better, than to read an essay book. However this wasn't the reason why I bought it an read it - my true wish was to catch a glimpse, albeit a distorted and then focused one, of the applicant pool. We are presented here, not quite with a guidance book, but with a small sociological study, upon which we can reflect about societal acceptance trends and behavior of those, applying for the most known among the Big Six.
Read it not for advice given, but m An applicant to Harvard should, of course, know better, than to read an essay book. Read it not for advice given, but more to know and understand a given set of people. I wish I had read this book before applying to US colleges. Very useful and provoke thinking. I pretend to be an admission office while reading it. That means I read many essays continuously in a day and then tried to remember them the next day, then choose 10 best out of The best thing I like about the book is not its essays but the comments from the Crimson staff which pointed out how good and how bad a PS could be.
After reading this book, I want to write my personal statement again, and I wish I had read this book before applying to US colleges. After reading this book, I want to write my personal statement again, and I will soon. View 2 comments. Jan 26, M Naser rated it really liked it.
The book was truly incredible it gives you a really beautiful insight of how it is in Harvard! I strongly recommend this book. This is a good reference. I am trying to perfect my application essays. I have one but I will be applying to more schools and I want a really strong essay! This is my 2nd ref. Read this one if you need help for college applications. This is a fun read. Sometimes my reaction is, "I had no idea that's all it took to get into Harvard", other times it is , "Wow, now how in the world did he think of THAT?
Feb 08, Maria Dudley rated it really liked it. Really helpful if you have a child who will be applying to college soon even if they aren't interested in Harvard or filling out other sorts of applications. I loved reading these personal essays! Interesting and good writing even if this doesn't apply to you Feb 11, SallyStenger added it.
Interesting, but not as much as the one with the law school essays. Short and easy to read. Their writing is fantastic and the reviews are very informational for students trying to write their college essays. Jun 08, Renuka rated it really liked it. JB Park rated it liked it Jan 25, Valerie rated it it was amazing Jun 13, Munguntsetseg Ganbold rated it liked it Sep 03, Odaznava Oahin rated it it was amazing Jun 24, Jenny Panciocco rated it really liked it Jan 10, Dee rated it it was ok Jul 17, Alison Rosenbloom rated it it was amazing Mar 20, Wayne Deng rated it liked it Jul 23, Trisha rated it liked it May 17, Swapnil Jain rated it really liked it Oct 08, Chess via Email added it Aug 11, Rhiana added it May 06, Stacy added it Jun 28, Johnny added it Jul 16, Abby added it Aug 18, Dandelion marked it as to-read May 13, Bob French added it Jun 10, Lucy marked it as to-read Aug 12, Thao added it Dec 01, Kenneth Jun added it Jan 23, Standards Malaysia added it Mar 08, TMA Library added it Jun 02, Robyn added it Jul 26, Kashif added it Aug 20, Julie added it Sep 09, Josh Steimle added it Oct 18, Michael marked it as to-read Jan 05, Celine Cruz added it Sep 13, Johnny Moseley added it Sep 15, Susan added it Aug 30, Craig added it Oct 11, Peter added it Oct 23, Craig Maniscalco added it Dec 19, Tamara added it Jan 17, Kaymie marked it as to-read Jan 22, Suna added it Feb 15, There are no discussion topics on this book yet.
Be the first to start one ». Readers also enjoyed. About Harvard Crimson. Harvard Crimson. Books by Harvard Crimson. Who doesn't love a good science fiction or fantasy subgenre? If you're familiar with these categories, they can act as direct portals to Read more Trivia About 50 Successful Har No trivia or quizzes yet. Add some now ». At the state and local level, the governments controlled by Republicans tend 50 Successful Harvard Application Essays Third Edition Download to be better run , sometimes much better run, than those controlled by the Democrats oops.
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It is now time to combine those elements into a comprehensive analysis of one movie. In the beginning, all people on earth spoke the same language. He was rushed to hospital where the doctors pronounced that he had injured his spine so badly that he would never again be able to walk.
The earnings attained by way of these investments and the cash appreciation realised are shared by its device […]rn2. Education is important as it opens the window of opportunity. Entire government agencies are specifically dedicated to research, such as America's National Science Foundation , the United Kingdom's scientific research institutes , America's Small Business Innovative Research effort.
Effects of societal and familial change on mental health Social and cultural changes have altered entire lifestyles, interpersonal relationship patterns, power structures and familial relationship arrangements in current times. The Victorian era and its literature showed a very optimistic outlook on life, but the new era of Modernism rejected this idea and chose to portray life to be extremely pessimistic.
Also before a plant is full-grown, it must first mature and survive as a seedling. How to add bibliography in an essay how long does it take to reference an essay! His sigh could easily be identified as one of relief. And ultimately, as much as I value everything that I teach my students about paragraph structure or sentence beginnings, the most important factor for a successful school year is that I like and respect my students and that they know it. Les garcons guillaume a table critique essay je peux toujours 50 Successful Harvard Application Essays Third Edition Download essayer conjugate studentessay4you review of literature propaganda bandwagon essays canterbury tales wife of bath analysis essay.
Plath sees herself as the female Lazarus, who has been raised from the dead 3 times and essay on being hence the miracle. Candy has several terms of symbolism, for example his disability is a symbol of the migrant workers who are just literally forgotten about, they are forgotten when they are no use to the owners.
A vaccine for humans was available but was removed from the market in , reportedly due to poor sales resulting from its relative ineffectiveness. Along with his contemporary Banjo Paterson, Lawson Consultants in dispelling the worn path; supplemental materials: In an age of Black Lives Matter, James Baldwin's essays on life in Harlem, the protest novel, movies, and African Americans abroad are as powerful today as when they were first written.
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It's honestly the best essay I've ever written. One age cannot bind itself and conspire to put the following one into such a condition that it would be impossible for it to enlarge its cognitions especially in such urgent matters and to purify them of errors, and generally to make further progress in enlightenment.
Carpenter Essay In Gujarati On Mahatma Gandhi Genetic Engineering Essay Grade 12 The main emphasis of quantitative research is on deductive reasoning which tends to move from the general to the specific. Essay Proposal Guidelines Criticisms Of The Cosmological Argument Essay A Level The Buddha then goes on to promote a similar kind of republican style of government among the Buddhist Sangha, where all monks had equal rights to attend open meetings and there would be no single leader, since The Buddha also chose not to appoint one.
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